Singles sites and blind date success

If you are separated many singles won't want to meet you until you are divorced. You can be on a singles site for six months and not get a single date closer than 50 miles. Many singles sites won't allow you to join or don't have separated as a category. Many people on singles sites are married people alone in hotels just browsing and never want to meet up. Other are unemployed and can't afford a date. Or handicapped and just want a look.

To get one date on next Saturday night when most people want to chat for three weeks before meeting, you have to join about twenty sites hoping somebody else similar has done the same. Singles over the age of 25 often won't commit to meeting - that's why they are still single.

A woman of any age who wants to see a man before committing to a date can go to any pub or bar wearing a short skirt and/or low neck top, and a smile, stand near a bar without a drink and pretty soon a man will offer to buy her a drink.

If you try to meet a blind dates in a pub you can and end up getting chatted up by somebody else. Then your real date thinks you are a couple and that you never turned up and goes home. Make sure you have each other's mobile phone numbers. 

Jealousy of the Famous and Rich - Helen Keller's answer

If somebody is famous and rich, you are inclined to measure yourself against them. Even if you know it's happening, it's hard to stop. When my father died in his early nineties I tried to be glad he had lived so long, which boded well for his offspring and grandchild and future great grandchildren. But when the Queen Mother died I kept comparing the age he had died with hers. He had not reached the milestone of 100 to get the congratulations telegram. He had not reached the age of 100 achieved by the Queen Mother. I blamed him. I blamed myself for not looking after him better.

In the news was a story about a TV presenter whose new car had been stolen. Several commentators were angry that she had enough money to buy such a car, and that she had chosen to spend her money on that car.

Two different issues. One is earning a lot. The second is the upmarket car.

Actually, three issues. One is earning a lot. The second is not deserving to be paid so much. The third source of annoyance is the choice of car, one which is large and obviously expensive.

I am not jealous. Because I have often thought that even though I am retired I could try to get a job in TV. I could run all over London auditioning for jobs and minor parts until I got a job in TV.

But I don't - because it's too stressful. All the highly paid people I know get up at 4 am to catch planes overseas, work until midnight to meet deadlines.

You may not have relatives or friends or a boss who works late. But you will probably have read about the Jeremy Clarkson who lost his job because he got angry at no hot food late at night, after working late.

People in celebrity jobs often miss evenings and weekends with the family. They travel, whenever asked, to jobs in other cities and other countries.

Then they often die young or get health problems from lack of sleep and stress. In my opinion, they deserve whatever it is they choose to spend their money on.

Now we come to a second issue. How can you stop feeling angry that somebody has more than you do, whether or not they deserve it. They have the signs of success.

Two bad feelings can result. One is jealousy.

The other is panic that even the rich and successful suffer setbacks. So even if I worked all year, or went without holiday to buy a wonderful new car, somebody could steal it.

Sometimes an art quotation is a quick response enabling us to move on. I like Helen Keller's remark, that there is always somebody (in our society) better off than ourselves. But if we look at the entire world, we see that we are amongst the privileged few.